Trailer Park Cookin’
We had a party and the theme was “White Trash Potluck”. We had some choice dishes — some of them tasty, some decidedly not. Here are some of them.
Yum Yum Salad
A three-layer Jell-O mold.
Tasty Rating: 7, Gag Rating: 5
Ingredients
- Equal quantities of Lemon, Lime and Cherry Jell-O
- Marshamallows
- Cream Cheese
- Miracle Whip
Prepare Lemon Jell-O as normal. Refrigerate in a mold that will allow for two more layers on top.
While the first layer is setting, prepare the center layer. Mix equal parts Miracle Whip, cream cheese and melted marshallows. I recommend approximately 1/4 cup each. Feel free to increase amounts, but be careful with the Miracle Whip.
Dissolve Lime Jell-O in hot water; combine thoroughly with Miracle Whip mixture. When the first layer has harded fully, spread the center layer on top. Return it to the fridge until it has hardened fully.
Finish off with a layer of Cherry Jell-O.
When it has all fully hardened, flip and serve.
This is a surprisingly edible dish. The one thing that can kill it is the Miracle Whip — but don’t leave it out! If the ratios are correct, it’s quite a sublime experience. I like to call it the “What the hell is that flavor?” experience.
Classic Vegetable Jell-O Salad
A savory Jell-O mold.
Tasty Rating: 3, Gag Rating: 5
Ingredients
- Lemon Jell-O
- Carrots
- Cabbage
- Canned Green Olives (pimentos are optional)
- Miracle Whip (optional)
Directions
Shred the carrots and cabbage. Try to find the small green olives, if you can’t, just cut them in half.
Prepare the Jell-O as normal and place it in fridge. Remove it when it is just starting to set.
Stir olives, carrots and cabbage into the Jell-O. The slightly set state of the Jell-O will prevent all of the vegetables from sinking to the bottom. Return to the fridge.
When it has fully hardened, flip and serve. Serve with Miracle Whip on the side — it ain’t called “Miracle Whip Salad Dressing” for nothing.
What really affects the Gag Rating of this dish is the olives. Leave them out if your guests are known to be squeamish.
Cocktail Meatballs
The Swedes invented them, Iowans perfected them.
Tasty Rating: 9, Gag Rating: 1
Ingredients
Meatballs
- 2lbs. Ground Beef
- 1C Cornflake Crumbs
- 1/3C Dried Parsley
- 2 Eggs
- 2T Soy Sauce
- 1/4T Pepper
- 1/2T Garlic
- 1/3C Catsup
- 2T Minced Instant Onion
- Velveeta slices (optional)
Cocktail Sauce
- 1 Can Cranberry Sauce
- 12oz Chili Sauce
- 2T Brown Sugar
- 1T Lemon Juice
Directions
Combine the meatball ingredients in a bowl and form into walnut-sized balls.
Mix all the cocktail ingredients up and pour it over your meatballs in an oven-proof dish. Bake at 450° until the meatballs are cooked through (about 15 minutes). Serve.
For “Cocktail Meatballs Surprise”, put small pieces of the Velveeta slices in the center of each meatball.
These meatballs are scary good. I guarantee they will be the first item to disappear.
Dream Pie
The creme de la creme.
Tasty Rating: 10, Gag Rating: 0
Ingredients
- Graham Cracker Crust (store-bought)
- Cool Whip
- Jell-O (any fruit flavor)
- Garnish (candies, fruits, etc.)
Directions
Dissolve Jell-O powder in hot water as normal. Combine this with the Cool Whip and pour into the Graham Cracker Crust. Place in fridge.
When fully hardened, garnish as you wish. I recommend frozen strawberries or candy fruit slices (”candy,” not “candied”). Sugar shock is a hazard.
Hamburger Helper
Helps your hamburger make a great meal.
Tasty Rating: 1, Gag Rating: 9
Ingredients
- One Box Hamburger Helper
- Ground Beef
Directions
Prepare as instructed.